And, according to Leil Lowndes in her book "How To Talk To Anyone," you can capture — and hold — anyone's attention without even saying a word.
We've selected the best body language techniques from the book and shared them below:
The Flooding Smile
"Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet
someone," says Lowndes. If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line
of sight would receive that same smile.
Instead, pause and look at the other person's face
for a second, and then let a "big, warm, responsive smile flood over
your face and overflow into your eyes."
Even though the delay is less than a second, it will
convince people your smile is sincere and personalized for them.
According to Lowndes, a slower smile can add more richness and depth to
how people perceive you.
Sticky Eyes
"Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's with sticky warm taffy," Lowndes advises. Even
after they've finished speaking, don't break eye contact. "When you
must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey
taffy until the tiny string finally breaks." This technique will help
you appear more intelligent and insightful.
Epoxy Eyes
In a group of people, you should watch the person you
are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If you concentrate on
that person even when they are simply listening, you show that you are
extremely interested in his or her reactions.
The Big-Baby Pivot
People are very conscious of how you react to them.
When you meet someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give
them the same, undivided attention you would give a baby. Lowndes says,
"Pivoting 100% towards the new person shouts, 'I think you are
very, very special.'"
Limit the Fidget
If you want to appear credible, try not to move too
much when your conversation really matters. "Do not fidget, twitch,
wiggle, squirm, or scratch," Lowndes says. Frequent
hand motions near your face can give your listener the feeling that
you're lying or anxious. Instead, simply fix a constant gaze on the
listener and show them that you're fully concentrated on the matter at
hand.
Hang By Your Teeth
This visualization trick will help you look
more confident with your posture, which Lowndes describes as "your
biggest success barometer." To do this, visualize a leather bit hanging
from the frame of every door you walk through. Pretend that you are
taking a bite on the dental grip, and let it sweep your cheeks into a
smile and lift you up.
"When you hang by your teeth," Lowndes says, "every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position." Your head will be held high, shoulders back, torso out of your hips, and feet weightless.
This trick also works because of the frequency people
walk through doorways. If you visualize anything often enough, it
becomes a habit. "Habitual good posture is the first mark of a big
winner."
Hello, Old Friend
When you first meet someone, imagine they're your old
friend. According to Lowndes, this will cause a lot of subconscious
reactions in your body, from the softening of your eyebrows to the
positioning of your toes.
An added benefit to this technique is that when you
act as though you like someone, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy —
you might really start to like them. Lowndes says, "What it boils down
to is love begets love, like begets like, respect begets respect."
